so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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