take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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