is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
