I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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