Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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