Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
