I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
