so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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