I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
