That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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