did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
