How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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