I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
