WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
