I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
