I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
