I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
