OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
