Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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