i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
