What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
