Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
