I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
