never play flip cup with pint glasses
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
