he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
