butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
