It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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