You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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