her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
