nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
