do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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