Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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