i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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