you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
