it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
