Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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