End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
