Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
