when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
