I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
