3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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