Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
