Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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