My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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