dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
