holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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