wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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