Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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