I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
