Me too!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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